


A Good Nemesis is Hard to Find

by Chibifukurou



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Gen, Misses Clause Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-13
Updated: 2011-12-13
Packaged: 2017-10-27 07:05:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/293005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibifukurou/pseuds/Chibifukurou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Vanessa took over her father's position as Evil Overlord of the tri-state area, she'd had a plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Good Nemesis is Hard to Find

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mtgat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtgat/gifts).
  * Translation into Русский available: [Хорошего врага найти нелегко](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1083824) by [Rainy_Elliot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainy_Elliot/pseuds/Rainy_Elliot)



> Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This story was written for personal enjoyment and entertainment purposes.

Despite what most people wanted to think about the business of Evil and how different it was from most peoples', some things never changed. Like retirement parties, attended by all of an employee's most despised co-workers who came to make derogatory statements the employee who was leaving. Something Vanessa wouldn't have minded if her dad hadn't been the one leaving the evil business.

Since he was the one leaving, she'd been forced to attend the party along with all of the other villains in the area, and their various family members, nemesis's, etc. Vanessa would have rather been anywhere but stuck at this party, having to listen to all of the other villains tell stories about all of her dad's greatest failures.

She'd finally resorted to hiding away in a corner, with her own slice of stale cake, to avoid Rodney's skeezeball son. Who was going to get his monocle shoved somewhere uncomfortable in he didn't watch it. At least Norm was having fun, dashing around and trying to get everything perfect.

Thankfully, Perry came to her rescue. Sliding up beside her, and giving the skeezeball an evil eye that sent him scurrying to hid behind his daddy's coat. And seriously what kind of pretentious villain still wore a cloak of all things? It went against every fashionable bone in her body. She struck up a conversation to distract her from the idea of taking a pair of scissors to the thing. "So, Perry, what are you planning to do now that my dad decided to give up a life of villainy and move down to Florida, where he can quietly loathe all of humanity?"

He shrugged and churred, before pulling out a piece of  rolled up paper from who-knew-where. It was a certificate of services done for the agency and for going above and beyond the call of duty on countless occasions.

She leaned over to get a better look at it, and saw a note scrawled in the margin. 'Thank you for your years of faithful service, we will be sad to see you go ~M + Carl.'

"Does that mean you'll be going back to your civilian identity now? Or are you planning to go to Florida with my dad?" It wasn't like she'd mind. It hadn't escaped her notice that he was Perry's relationship with her dad was the healthiest relationship he'd been in since he'd broken up with Mom.

Perry nodded and they both watched as her dad made an idiot of himself as usual trying to insult the other villains and getting insulted much more severely in return. "You think he'll ever figure out that they don't like him?"

Perry shook his head.

"You'll look after him for me, won't you?" She didn't need to deal with whatever feuds he'd end up starting at the retirement community if left unattended. She was off to college in another couple months and wouldn't have time to sort out his messes.

He nodded again, before going to mingle with the other nemeses that had come to the party with their respective villains, leaving her to poke listlessly at her stale cake while trying to avoid Rodney's son.

#

College, away from her crazy dad's schemes and a mother that never seemed to believe her, was where she'd planned to find herself.

Instead, college was a life full of boredom. Classes day in and day out without even busting her dad's evil schemes to break the monotony. She couldn't seem to find anything that cheered her up. Not even curling up on the couch with a pint of ice cream and a couple seasons' worth of Pretty Pony Prance-A-Lot.

#

She knew she'd gone beyond any chance of being completely independent of her dad when she found herself standing in front of a mirror comparing spandex outfits, trying to decide which uniform made her look the most evil. It seemed like she was going to become evil after all.

After that uncomfortable realization, other realizations quickly followed. Like the realization that she wasn't ever going to be happy getting a design degree, and that what she wanted most in life wasn't what she'd thought it was.

#

Her mother took it better than expected when she told her she was transferring to an evil institute.

Of course, that probably had more to do with the fact that she still didn't believe Vanessa than any real acceptance of her new calling in life.

#

Doctor Vanessa Doofensmirch took over the old Doofensmirch building only a few months after her triumphant graduation from the Evil University of World Domination. It wasn't a return celebrated in the streets, though she'd done the masses a large favor when she'd kicked Rodney's son out of the tri-state area.

#

Despite what she considered good work--luring the tri-state's citizens over to her evil way of doing things, which included impromptu Goth fashion shows and the occasional dark chocolate sundae rain shower--she still didn't have a nemesis.

Which was seriously annoying. What did she have to do to get the Agency's attention? Steal candy from a baby or something? Her dad had been one of the most pathetic villains in the Agency's entire history, he'd still managed to snag a nemeses like Perry.

But while the stealing candy from a baby idea had some merit, it was just too evil for her. It seemed like something her dad would do and she'd made a promise to herself that she'd never become a villain like her dad. She'd just settle for enslaving the locals for a few minutes before she was thwarted by whichever nemesis came knocking.

#

Penelope Porcupine wasn't exactly what Vanessa had in mind. She seemed just as bad at being good as Vanessa was at being truly evil. It was kind of ridiculous. "You do know that you're supposed to be destroying my 'inator, right?" Penny nodded without looking away from Pretty Pony Prance-A-Lot.

Vanessa sighed and went to go disassemble the machine herself. She'd have to come up with something more dangerous next time. She needed to move up in the world if she was ever going to find herself a nemesis like Perry.

Once she had everything safely disassembled, she went to make a bowl of popcorn. If Penny was too busy watching TV to thwart her at least she had a good excuse to waste a couple hours watching Ponies.

#

Her next evil scheme was genius. Nobody else had ever thought to harness cat fur as a weapon of mass-destruction. All she needed to do was adopt a few thousand cats from the local animal shelters, then she'd be in business.

Though on second thought, maybe she should go with another plan. This one was sounding a lot like one her dad would have come up with. Even if his probably would have involved a monkey powered 'inator in addition to the cats.

Maybe she should take a little break from being evil for a while, before she became as crazy as Dad.

#

She ended up going to visit Perry, Dad, and Norm at the Evil retirement village. Sometimes getting back to your roots was good for you and Florida was a good place to vacation. Besides, she could use some advice. Her dad might be completely hopeless at hopeless, but Perry should be able to teach her what she needs to know to  get a nemesis.

She liked hanging out with Penny and everything, but it wasn't really working for her. She'd ended up having to foil her own plots four times out of five and that got boring.

Dad had Norm make a make a feast to celebrate her new position as villain of the tri-state area.  

He couldn't stop gushing while they ate. "I'm so proud of you, Vanessa. I heard through the grape vine that you've gotten your own nemesis. I never thought I'd see the day come. My baby girl all grown up."

"Yeah, It seems like just yesterday I was helping Perry foil your evil plots and you were dressing like a hippy to trick me and my friends."

Dad sighed. "Those were the days. I miss it, you know. It seems like just yesterday Perry and I were fighting over the tri-state area. Now all we do is fight over who gets to eat the last cup of pudding."

She edged away while he was still staring into space. She recognize the signs of an oncoming flashback at this point and didn't want to have to listen to him rambling on about his childhood experiences as a garden gnome.

She felt miserable enough as it was. Once Norm came in to clear the dishes, she made a run for the safety of the living room.

#

Perry was watching Pretty Pony Prance-a-Lot in the living room and ignoring the clattering from the kitchen when she found him. "Perry, can I talk to you for a minute or two?"

He nodded and moved over so that she had more room to sit on the couch.

"It's about my nemesis. Dad is so proud that I don't what to tell him , but I don't think it's working out with Penny. She's a nice enough Porcupine, but I don't think she understand what I want out of being an evil villain."

He looked at her out of the corner of his eyes and made a pointed churring sound.

 "Yes, I did try talking to her. I tried explaining that I want a nemesis who is interested in foiling my evil plots before they come to fruition and who I can count on to be there even if I'm not doing anything particularly evil that day. Like the relationship you and dad had."

He made a high hissing sound through his beak.

"I know dad was usually up to something evil every day, but that's not the point. Even on the days he was just trying to be evil by embarrassing me and scaring me into running back to the city, you were there to back him up. That's more than Penny wants to do for me."

Perry turned the TV off and turned to meet her eyes. Then he made a few elaborate hand gestures that involved hugging motions and a quacking-beak gesture with his hand, before he started hopping up and down on the couch.

"I know that you two didn't start out as friends, but you have to admit that you helped Dad raise me, since he was completely hopeless. I figured you could help me again, now."

This time he made a series of movement that involved shaking his finger at her and hugging himself but she was for once at a loss.

"Can you say that again?"

He tried again, but she still had no idea what he was trying to say. "Um, I shouldn't hug myself?"

Throwing up his hands in disgust, he waddled off, coming back with a pad of paper and a pencil that he used to start writing. He held it up to her and once she saw what he'd written, his weird movements started to make a little more sense. 'If you don't feel comfortable with your nemesis then maybe she's not the nemesis for you.'

"I know, but Dad is so happy that I'm finally settle down into my own evil career. I don't want to disappoint him."

Perry hugged her and curled up into her lap. "Alright, all right already. I'll think about it, but no promises."

#

She did think about it, and she had to admit that Perry had a point. If she couldn't trust Penny to defeat her then maybe it was time for her to move on. It would hurt to see her Prancing Pony buddy go, but some things, like evil, had to come first.

#

The next time she went to visit Perry, Norm, and her dad in the rest home she was able to take Gerald the Goat with her to meet them all. He hadn't been what she'd expected, since she was used to Perry's methods of evil fighting, but Gerald looked after her and always made sure to thwart her plans in a timely fashion. Though she would have preferred if he didn't thwart her by eating chucks of her inventions. The bits and pieces he left behind were a pain to clean up.

"Dad, there is someone I'd like you to meet."

#

Fin

 


End file.
